Trust
“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”
December 27, 2013 ~ It seems that a constant battle that moms of children with mental illness have is when to give their kids a little space. I know that, for me, I have felt the need to control every aspect of my son's life since June of 2012 when he was diagnosed. I'm just so scared that the crisis will happen all over again, that I have probably (certainly) have been guilty of over-mothering.
On the day after Christmas we let him go - on his own - back to our old hometown to spend several days with his friends.
Oh, the worry and anxiety.
The what-ifs have practically consumed me. It has been such a long, hard road to get him where he is today and I know that it takes practically nothing to upset that balance. But at some point I have to let go - I have to trust him to take his medication without me there to watch him swallow it. I have to trust him to make good choices and stay away from things that make him worse.
We've called frequently to remind him about medications. We've checked in with his friends to get their assessment. But I don't know what he'll be like when he comes home this weekend. I hope and pray he's OK. If not - well, we've done all that before and I can do hard things. I've done the best I could. Sometimes being a mother means trusting your child - even when you're scared to death to do it.
Quote credit; J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)