What you saw in the mirror

November 29, 2016 ~ To the lady going through the toll both ahead of me this morning who paid my toll and asked the attendant to tell me "Merry Christmas" - thank you. You may think it was a small thing that you did today. But you will never know how much that gesture lifted my spirits.

Because weighing heavily on my mind this morning as I drove to work was another dreaded commitment hearing on Friday (how I hate them.....) where my son will walk in to a hospital conference room disguised as a court room.

He'll be confused about the process as always, but he'll also be absolutely convinced that the judge will tell the hospital to discharge him, because there's a special number on his hospital paperwork that means he's supposed to be discharged. Some days that number is 7, some days it's 5. But every day he thinks about that number and its special meaning, and he'll try to argue this with the judge. I know this, because he's been talking about it for weeks now, and has formulated his plan for "getting out". It's all about that special number.

The commitment won't be lifted, and he isn't being discharged. He isn't well enough, and he's not going anywhere right now but back to his hospital patient care unit. I've tried to tell him this. The treatment team has tried to tell him this. He doesn't even remotely understand it. I worry about how disappointed he'll be, or how angry, or how discouraged.

My heart aches for him, and this morning, as I drove and thought about this, it felt a very heavy thing for both of us to have to deal with.

But you - a complete stranger - looked in your rear view mirror today and had a kind thought, a helpful thought - then acted on it. To me it was evidence that we are not alone in this journey, even when we're pretty sure we are. You were proof of that today. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

And Merry Christmas to you, too.