Ten things you should consider doing

April 8, 2017 ~ From experience - ten things you should consider doing:

1. Say no sometimes. And create reasonable boundaries for other people and stick with them. You were never meant to sacrifice your health and well-being for the sake of someone else.

2. Take a break, and do something that brings you happiness: mint chocolate chip ice cream, a walk by the river, a movie on your own with a huge bucket of buttered popcorn. Find something that makes you smile, and do that.

3. Write poetry, even if you think it's terrible. OK - maybe not poetry, but write something. Writing your feelings down is good therapy.

4. The best person to protect your heart from hurting is you. So stay close to the people who consistently make time for you. If you aren't a priority to someone you want as a friend - keep loving them, but don't chase them down. You deserve more than to be a friend of convenience.

5. Drink more water. And take care of your body and your health. What good are you to anyone if you're sick and worn out?

6. If nobody gives you flowers anymore, buy some for yourself.

7. Ask for what you need. Don't assume others can read your mind.

8. Worries and anxieties always show up, and seem worse, when you're tired. I've learned to recognize the negative, sad, or overwhelming thoughts that are warning signs of dangerous fatigue. Get strategic about getting the rest that you need - a pre-sleep routine, or hiding your phone at bedtime, or mindfulness meditation.....find what works for you.

9. If your loved one has a therapist, that person isn't your therapist. Get one of your own - someone who can help you work through your challenges without being distracted by your loved one's needs.

10. Finally, be gentle with yourself. If you're beating yourself up for some reason, believe that you've done the best you knew how with what you knew at the moment. The past is gone and unchangeable, so use your experience to make today a better day - for yourself, or for someone else who could use your guidance.