When Social Media Isn't Social

The other day, I wrote a post on our neighborhood’s Facebook page about a concern I had. I thought I might start a meaningful discussion about what could be done differently to improve what I saw as a problem.

The comments from people who didn’t agree with me were unbelievably hostile. Most didn’t mention the problem or a different viewpoint - their responses were just personal attacks questioning my intelligence, my motives, and my supposed inability to think straight (meaning to think like they do).

This is not a new problem, but being a personal target for the toxicity that has become part of the Social Media culture brought it home for me. I ended up not only taking down the post, but I also left the group. I don’t want to be part of a group that tolerates such incivility.

Knowing the hurt I felt as an adult, I can’t imagine what these experiences are doing to the mental health of our children and teenagers.

This morning, I ran across this from Emmett Lyman, a rock climber who was injured in a fall while climbing and is now a quadriplegic:

Social Media’s toxic nature has created some bad habits for people, painting a very skewed, unauthentic picture of themselves OR conversely lashing out instead of intelligent interpersonal communication. This platform shouldn’t be a highlight reel of our life but perhaps a combination of inspiration for possibilities beyond our personal scope and community resourcing and education.

There have been many times in our journey with mental illness when Social Media became a problem to be dealt with rather than a place for me to go for friendship, support, and inspiration. Perhaps you feel the same and, therefore, I invite you to join me in taking back control of your Social Media experience. Here are some tips:

Be Intentional. Mindless scrolling is now a thing of the past. I took the Facebook app off my phone (which was ever so convenient for mindless scrolling). Now I have to log in, which makes me have to think a little harder about what I’m doing.

Unfollow or unfriend. Don’t be afraid to unfriend or unfollow (a gentler approach) that person who brings negativity in your life through their posts, or - like me - leave the group if it doesn’t bring you joy.

Fill your feed with positivity. There are plenty of wonderful pages out there that can bring positivity into your life rather than dragging you down with negativity.

Take a break. There is an amazing feeling of freedom that comes from putting the phone down and pursuing your hobbies, building your relationships, and being more mindful of the beauty around you.

Stay strong, moms.