Abiding with Mental Illness - A Christmas Thought

It seems that the Christmas season intensifies everyone’s search for happiness. And when something as dark as mental illness is lurking in your life, it can be tough to find anything that resembles Christmas spirit.

Some of us search for the childhood Christmas magic we once knew. Others of us try to hide the sadness with festivities and celebrations, only to find that it returns once we’re alone. Perhaps you’re looking around and seeing everyone else’s happiness and wondering where yours is. If your loved one with mental illness is incarcerated or hospitalized, your discouragement may be almost unbearable. Probably all of us are just exhausted with the day in and day out of what it takes to support someone on the journey with mental illness.

Maybe you’re just wishing we were past it all, and looking back on it from the safety of December 26th.

If this is where you are today, perhaps this Christmas thought will help you. It is derived from the writings of a wonderful woman, Chieko Okazaki, who had her share of trials but somehow was able to share ideas on finding peace and sanctuary.

She wrote of the shepherds who were the first to know of the Savior’s birth; shepherds who were “abiding in the fields” and were in the right place to witness a miracle. The meaning of the word abide is to stay, to continue, and to wait patiently. She writes,

“So much of what we have to do is to endure, to be consistent, to rest unchanging, to wait, to stay. Abiding is not a flashy or a glamorous quality; it does not make a lot of noise or cause a lot of upheaval. But at the same time, it is not a passive quality. Abiding take tenacity and integrity and a strong awareness of the power of choices.”

There are times when dealing with the challenges of mental illness make the days - and particularly nights - feel like an eternity. It is hard to be patient with medications that take effect so slowly. It is troubling to think that the difficulties that come from mental illness are going to be there the rest of your life.

This is why I love Chieko Okazaki’s description of the importance of abiding. Our loved ones need us to abide. They need us to endure and to be consistent. If you are abiding this Christmas, please know that you have the ability to do it. You can be tenacious. You can make powerful choices.

And remember that, because the shepherds were where they were supposed to be, doing what they were supposed to be doing, they were able to witness a miracle.

They are proof to us that when it is darkest and coldest, that is when the angels come.

Merry Christmas.

Excerpts taken from “Stars: Reflections on Christmas” by Chieko Okazaki, published 2004 by Deseret Book.